?

Log in

love. hate. leave me.

understated glamour. full nonchalance. and raw sexuality..

Name:
Vannessa
fairy image!~color changing!~
I didn't get around to kiss you. Goodbye on the hand. I wish that I could see you again. I know that I can't

wolf woman!~<sea mist!~lions path!~<cat woman!~<

blue goddess!~<

ice princess!~<

an array.. simple!~<

casted energy!~<

Serpent siren!~<

Feline enlightment!~<<As she calls me!~<

With the wind!~<Temple of light!~<

Waltz with the Waves!~<Unexpected Visitors!~<

egypt border!~egypt border!~

~*Chartreux is a sturdy, shorthaired French breed coveted since antiquity for its hunting prowess and its dense, water repellent fur. Its husky, robust type is sometimes termed primitive, neither cobby nor classic. Though amply built, Chartreux are extremely supple and agile cats; refined, never coarse nor clumsy. Males are much larger than females and slower to mature. Coat texture, coat color and eye color are affected by sex, age and natural factors which should not penalize. The qualities of strength, intelligence and amenability, which have enabled the Chartreux to survive the centuries unaided, should be evident in all exhibition animals and preserved through careful selection*~

Be brave reshape
Can't force all into molds
Passing out schematics
Forcing all into molds
Once more about to change
Some try and fall beneath molds
Well it's your right so

I'll keep on this path
Turning around bending shapes
Cutting it in
We could excel beyond
The latter fools
Start a new tone
Hating the same
Empty the room
So create, reclaim
Sovereign shapes tempting us
Ration out, their schematics
Dare we live without molds
So far what's left between
They try and fail beneath molds

black and white!~ If i've given you my heart..a message for you!~


Feel locked in a room
And starting to choke
Enticing the shame
Awaken a world our own <33

Everybody's got something they had to leave behind
One regret from yesterday that just seems to grow with time
There's no use looking back or wondering
How it could be now or might have been
Oh this I know but still I can't find ways to let you go

I've never had a dream come true
Till the day that I found you
Even though I pretend that I've moved on
You'll always be my baby
I never found the words to say
You're the one I think about each day
And I know no matter where life takes me to
A part of me will always be with you

Somewhere in my memory
I've lost all sense of time
and tomorrow can never be since yesterday is all that fills my mind
There's no use looking back or wondering
How it should be now or might have been
Oh this I know but still I can't find ways to let you go

red sky!~

I'll always remember
It was late afternoon
It lasted forever
And ended so soon
You were all by yourself
Staring up at a dark gray sky
I was changed

In places no one will find
All your feelings so deep inside, deep inside

Was then that I realized
That forever was in your eyes
The moment I saw you cry

The moment that I saw you cry

It was late in September
And I've seen you before, and you were
You were always the cold one
But I was never that sure
You were all by yourself
Staring up at a dark gray sky
I was changed <33

just look at me!~

Notice me, take my hand
Why are we strangers when
Our love is strong
Why carry on without me

Everytime I try to fly, I fall
Without my wings, I feel so small
I guess I need you, baby
And everytime I see you in my dreams
I see your face, it's haunting me
I guess I need you, baby

I make believe that you are here
It's the only way I see clear
What have I done
You seem to move on easy

I may have made it rain
Please forgive me
My weakness caused you pain
And this song's my sorry

At night I pray
That soon your face will fade away

I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly
I'll do what it takes till I touch the sky
And I'll make a wish, take a chance
Make a change, and break away
Out of the darkness and into the sun
But I won't forget all the ones that I love
I'll take a risk, take a chance <33


It's funny how I missed a life
Happy because I don't know why

So I say to myself
And I feel the change
Begging my rage
And I know it's a part of our nature
So hear my lecture

just look at me!~

Come over, come inside
And let me see the things you hide
Come over, can't you see
It's a part of reality

So I say to myself
And I feel the change
Begging my rage
And I know it's a part of our nature
So hear my lecture

Feelings are a part of the universe
So why do we change the course?

As white as clouds
As right as rain
A feeling that's right
A feeling of pain

Global is the issue
When they want you to pinpoint
This mortal way of life
Illusions of my knife
Global is the issue (is the issue)
Do you want me to pinpoint?
My mortal way of life
Illusions of the knife <33

I've been walking around all day
Thinking
I think I have a problem
I think I think too much
I've been taught to hold back my tears
And avoid them
But you make pain into something I could touch

I've been walking around all day
Laughing
I think I'd be better off without you here
And I bet you're sweet and hard to get over
So I'll cry and people will stop and stare
Now that's okay
Let them stop and stare

Cause I am fragile
I am hopeless
I'm not perfect
But I am free

just look at me!~

I've been walking around all day
Waiting
And waiting is all I seem to do
Cause I never get it unless I'm fed it
But this time i'll just have to
Yeah this time i'll just have to

Say you're not around, Am I finished
If you're not around, thats too bad
Hope youre safe and sound, not alone now
Cause you know I believe in you

I am fragile
I am hopeless
I'm not perfect
But I am free <33

If melody
Is my destiny
Then what's left of me
I'll give to you
And if next to me
Is all that you need to be
Would you settle for fantasy
If it's the best you could do

Painted in black, our truths and the lies
But out lips and the body have lost control
Textures and patterns of those who defeat
The memory reminds my soul

So I'm standing now waiting for you
No, I'm lying in wait with nothing to do

Injured my flesh, the skin and the bones
But the nerves are right - or not - they're wrong
Pictures and sounds of those I would die from
Memories will make me strong

It's my hell
Shattered
Fall for me

Be with me this night, I'm lonely, it's so cold
Dream with me this night, I'm lonely growing old
Take the time and find your dark reality
Kill the lights inside and lose idenitity

Cold are my hands
Hot is my heart
Logic has crushed me
Right from the start

And for those of you
That light isn't true
The pain, the guilt
Vanishes, fades away and away <33

Earth, Wind, Fire, And Air
We may look bad but we don't care
We ride the wind we feel the fire
To love the earth is our one desire
Love the earth it's only fair its one
Big earth and we must share
We love the earth with all our fire
Its in our souls our one desire

And in the day and in the night
When I fear that's my fight
Winds blow higher (and the wind blows wild)
A thousand miles apart (tear me down, moonchild)
Today is the day of art

Shattered dreams, illusions in the night
Today I'm feeling right
Faith with me will always be
With ignorance in me, it's just a plea
For wisdom and technology
The faith with me <33

just look at me!~

Time, prime time
Tomorrow we leave the sky
Time chasing time
There to see the future of my rhyme
There to see the future of my rhyme (with you)
Rhyme with you (to you)

Just a secret that has never been told
As the writing on the paper, it's bold
Break an entry, tear it down
Set it lose and turn it around

Take a chance to ask me a question
Far beyond your destiny
Collide your fear with your deepest depressions
It's too fatal for us to see

No matter what it turns, no matter how it burns
Turn the pages upside down
And let it go like a merry-go-round
(It's me you blame for, always me)

Where do you look for (you blame for)
Where do you search for (now I'm gone)
Winds blow higher, a thousand miles apart
Winds blow higher (and the wind blows wild)
A thousand miles apart
Moonchild <33

The sand, the grains - a symbol of time
The sea, the waves - a song with a rhyme
A desert wind

Time - shattering the images above and healing wounds
A desert wind, a frying sun
A holy war handled by an angry gun
The night, the moon, the sky, the stars above us
The day, the sun, burning the mysterious thoughts
Inspiring an artist

Did you ever think, did you ever know, did you ever feel
That I was last to go?
Waiting at the gallows pole
There's a time when our dreams should be fulfilled

The screen of rays full of mist
A little child grown by the loving priest

There's a time when our dreams should be fulfilled
The day we come back from the landmine field
Distorted figure covered in black
Another soul is hidden away from you
Well what's the point?

The sand, the grains - a symbol of time
Well what's the point
If your ego is based on your success?
So the story goes on like a game of chess <33

Solitude is just a state of mind
Like a wave against the tide
Our raindrops fall before our eyes
Strings of faith held up so high - our lies

just look at me!~

Losing my grip, eyes open wide
And my heart's like a burning inferno, tears are filling
Me from the inside
Left out alone, thoughts from the dark
As I see the moon turns white, I come out and bark

Like a wing of an angel dying
Embrace me with your fear
It's the heat of the moment
I'm ready, when my sight is clear
It's a dream of the day I hope for
Caress me till dawn - I come out at night

Show me those hidden faces
The dreams that once been told
Restless night as I gaze into the sky
Lonely days with a tear and a cry
Exposing my flesh to emotional rays
Tear me down in occassional phase
In a time my harp will play
In a rhyme my heart will pray

It's a way to make a living from it
As well as hiding here
Like a butcher with a devil's daughter
Her eyes are dark and queer
Is it a raining station?
Or is the white noise true <33

Crawling in my skin
These wounds, they will not heal
Fear is how I fall
Confusing what is real

There's something inside me that pulls beneath the surface
Consuming, confusing
This lack of self control I fear is never ending
Controlling

I can't seem
To find myself again
My walls are closing in
Without a sense of confidence I'm convinced that there's just too much pressure to take
I've felt this way before
So insecure

Discomfort, endlessly has pulled itself upon me
Distracting, reacting
Against my will I stand beside my own reflection
It's haunting how I can't seem...

To find myself again
My walls are closing in
Without a sense of confidence I'm convinced that there's just too much pressure to take
I've felt this way before
So insecure

There's something inside me that pulls beneath the surface
Consuming, confusing
This lack of self control I fear is never ending
Controlling <33

You and me
We used to be together
Everyday together always
I really feel
That I'm losing my best friend
I can't believe
This could be the end
It looks as though you're letting go
And if it's real
Well I don't want to know

Don't speak
I know just what you're saying
So please stop explaining
Don't tell me cause it hurts
Don't speak
I know what you're thinking
I don't need your reasons
Don't tell me cause it hurts

Our memories
Well, they can be inviting
But some are altogether
Mighty frightening
As we die, both you and I
With my head in my hands
I sit and cry

Don't speak
I know just what you're saying
So please stop explaining
Don't tell me cause it hurts (no, no, no)
Don't speak
I know what you're thinking
I don't need your reasons
Don't tell me cause it hurts

It's all ending
I gotta stop pretending who we are...
You and me I can see us dying...are we?

Don't speak
I know just what you're saying
So please stop explaining
Don't tell me cause it hurts (no, no, no)
Don't speak
I know what you're thinking
I don't need your reasons
Don't tell me cause it hurts <33
my lovely playboy border!~my lovely playboy border!~my lovely playboy border!~my lovely playboy border!~my lovely playboy border!~my lovely playboy border!~

von dutch pin-upz!~

passion!~ so girly!~lineup of lil angels!~

 fluff- the evil hammy! pagan masquerade!~ abercrombie!~ who cares bout false advertisin? lol

ashlee for candiez!~ prepppy!~

rede!~angel!~

gucci&apos;z envy!~ devil wears prada!~ another lil angel!~

spell caster- black rose!~ caution!~

white witch award!~ little shy award!~ witchin&apos; hour award!~

pitbull <3333!~ drama queen!~ purple tears!~

hugz hugz <3!~ bunny bunny!~

my lovely playboy border!~my lovely playboy border!~my lovely playboy border!~my lovely playboy border!~my lovely playboy border!~my lovely playboy border!~*I'm a bitch, I'm a lover
I'm a child, I'm a mother
I'm a sinner, I'm a saint
I do not feel ashamed
I'm your hell, I'm your dream
I'm nothing in between
You know you wouldn't want it any other way..

courtesy of.. Meredith Brooks 0=]


0=]!~

*Star light Star bright First star I see tonight I wish I may I wish I might Have the wish I wish tonight..
(Bet you didn't expect that one. That is a very old spell used in celestial magic. Of course it has changed a little down through the years but it's essence has remained. All the poems I know off the top of my head are spells.)*

*Leave a bible out in the rain.. it'll shrivel up and rot
The wind'll tear its pages
Fire burn the covers
Well our "bible" IS the rain, the wind, and fire..*

*August rushes by like desert rainfall,
A flood of frenzied upheaval,
Expected,
But still catching me unprepared.
Like a matchflame
Bursting on the scene,
Heat and haze of crimson sunsets.
Like a dream
Of moon and dark barely recalled,
A moment,
Shadows caught in a blink.
Like a quick kiss;
One wishes for more
But it suddenly turns to leave,
Dragging summer away..

courtesy of... Elizabeth Maua Taylor*

rockin&apos; hunny bunny =p !~


*As in the bread and wine, so it is with me.
Within all forms is locked a record of the past
And a promise of the future.
I ask that you lay your blessings upon me, Ancient Ones,
That this season of waning light
And increasing darkness may not be heavy.
So Mote It Be..

courtesy of... Faille (Lammas Ritual)* yes.. its lamma! NOT LLama*


*What wondrous life is this I lead!
Ripe apples drop about my head;
The luscious clusters of the vine
Upon my mouth do crush their wine;
The nectarine and curious peach
Into my hands themselves do reach;
Stumbling on melons, as I pass,
Ensnared with flowers, I fall on grass..

courtesy of... Andrew Marvell (Thoughts in a Garden)*

*I take a jewel from a junk-shop tray
And wish I had a love to buy it for.
Nothing I choose will make you turn my way.
Nothing I give will make you love me more.

I know that I've embarrassed you too long
And I'm ashamed to linger at your door.
Whatever I embark on will be wrong.
Nothing I do will make you love me more.

pretti... klepto momnt!~

I cannot work. I cannot read or write.
How can i frame a letter to implore.
Eloquence is a lie. The truth is trite.
Nothing I say will make you love me more.

So I replace the jewel in the tray
And laughingly pretend I'm far too poor.
Nothing I give, do or say,
Nothing I am will make you love me more..

courtesy of... James fenton (Children in Exile)*

*When the man in his dissolution enters the house and assaults a woman in the dark,
he's shocked, almost, to hear her cry for help, but his deceit is still rick and deep,
and he avenges himself with the point of a sword, kiling the father,
hardening against reproaches, laughing at them, so he might go on lightly.

broken heart- rape!~

Only in the last night of life do they rise up and gaze on him.
When did he go too far?- weighing, in secret, his own weaknesses
against the world's beauty; comparing; until there was no end to it. The image of the father,
hers, even his, comes to ask him his worth. And we pity his lies, for the enormity
his will has sseized on begins to take hold, reaching its tentacles through the room.

When it goes back to GOD it drags him with it, while he babbles,
still craving the women he never possessed and only pretending to make love to..

courtesy of... Don Giovanni (Craving)*

*Because a sorrow was conquered, or a sin, can they relax?
No. having felt hands crush and throw them down,
they see the ones in pieces everywhere and hear the eerie beat of their madness:
it trembles in the wings of hummingbirds, aloft as they eat, flying backward.
So they persist without knowing how, and having been forbidden
presence, to push and coajole the ones on their kneese- in calls, in theirs and other's beds,
in hell- to their feet so they can find a way for themselves out into an airy place.
There they take down the hands flung before the face
and help to wash the inflamed portions of the others' hearts, so much like their own,
invisibly anointed whomever they can with oils, until and when the soft
pounding of the blood becomes comforting- like being held again in someone's arms..

courtesy of... Carol frost ( Comfort- Venus Don Juan)*

*It's much easier to turn a friendship into love, than love into friendship.

*Teenage boys, goaded by their surging hormones run in packs like the primal horde. They have only a brief season of exhilarating liberty between control by their mothers and control by their wives..

courtesy of... Camille Paglia*

Wicca... cruel joke cruel ppl.. lol

*You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try'..
courtesy of... Homer Simpson*


*I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it..
courtesy of...Groucho Marx*

*The worst solitude is to be destitute of sincere friendship.
courtesy of... Sir Francis Bacon*

*It's what each of us sows, and how, that gives to us character and prestige. Seeds of kindness, goodwill, and human understanding, planted in fertile soil, spring up into deathless friendships, big deeds of worth, and a memory that will not soon fade..

courtesy of... George Matthew Adams*

*The big mistake that men make is that when they turn thirteen or fourteen and all of a sudden they've reached puberty, they believe that they like women. Actually, you're just horny. It doesn't mean you like women any more at twenty-one than you did at ten..

courtesy of... Jules Feiffer*

*A real friend is someone who walks in when the rest of the world walks out*

*Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys..
courtesy... P. J. O'Rourke*

*I keep my friends as misers do their treasure, because, of all the things granted us by wisdom, none is greater or better than friendship..

courtesy of... Pietro Aretino*

*Tell me whom you love and I will tell you who you are..
courtesy of... Houssaye*

*Psychologically I should say that a person becomes an adult at the point when he produces more than he consumes or earns more than he spends. This may be a the age of eighteen, twenty-five, or thirty-five. Some people remain unproductive and dependent children forever and therefore intellectually and emotionally immature..

courtesy of... Henry C. Link*


*A tree is known by its fruit; a man by his deeds. A good deed is never lost; he who sows courtesy reaps friendship, and he who plants kindness gathers love..

courtesy of... Saint Basil the Great*

*Whether sixty or sixteen, there is in every human being's heart the lure of wonder, the unfailing child-like appetite of what's next, and the joy of the game of living. In the center of your heart and my heart there is a wireless station; so long as it receives messages of beauty, hope, cheer, courage and power from men and from the infinite, so long are you young..

courtesy of... Samuel Ullman*

*There is no distance too far between friends, for friendship gives wings to the heart.
courtesy of... Kathy Kay Benudiz*
my lovely playboy border!~my lovely playboy border!~my lovely playboy border!~my lovely playboy border!~my lovely playboy border!~my lovely playboy border!~

© show some heart ©

     
Self-Injury: You are NOT the only one.

Monday, March 1, 2004 is SI Awareness Day.

Statistics